While very young children may appear to use logic, their primary modes of learning are imitation and movement; that is the willing soul. Before you begin to speak begin the movement you wish them to imitate and make a general statement, not command, such as we are putting our shoes on now.” Better yet, sing it! This strengthens their willing soul. Young children respond more positively to statements, because questions illicit thinking, which is a part of the brain that needs the underpinning of sound movement skills to function more efficiently. Stories of similar situations from your childhood captivate children as they begin to form inner pictures of your words. Picture forming appeals to their sense of life.

Use gestures and begin the movement of putting on shoes as you tell the story.  Appeal to your child’s imagination.  If he/she likes trains, the engineer is putting on boots, because he/she has a big load to haul. Most choices should be made by the adult.  For example: in the winter, spring shoes are put away and the child is offered the tall snow boots or the blue ones. When a child makes choices their life force is used for mental activity, rather than to grow a healthy body. Then their sense of well being suffers & cooperation becomes difficult. Create the activity ahead of time. The shoes, jackets, etc., can be set out the night before. The form carries the function. Doing these activities the same time every day will help. The organs become healthier, thus the child’s sense of well being is nurtured. They are more cooperative when they experience rhythm.

 Your child is able to be cheerful and cooperative when they experience a bodily sense of well being. Think of yourself as the conductor. Children respond to a self confident parent by imitating confidence. Prepare yourself ahead of time by visualizing and planning how you will conduct the activity. Order, predictability and repetition cultivate confidence and well being. When your child feels a strong sense of life and self they will be  more respectful. Allow and encourage your child to do all they can do for themselves, gradually increasing their skill. Song and verses, which portray what they are doing help. Mastery also builds confidence. Activities can become games, time for fun and laughter. How high can the shoes jump once they are on? Use humor, change the subject or sing when a child becomes fixated. This helps switch to a different brain center, which allows the focus to shift from them being stuck on what they don’t want to getting the shoes on.

Tips:

• Focus on what you would like them to do, not what they should stop.  The positive focus creates neural pathways which are the basis for more positive behavior.
• Also, use positive reinforcement judiciously so they feel good about their accomplishment, but aren’t trying to people please.
• Occasionally raise the bar.  For example: wow, you can put your shoes on!  One of these days you’ll be able to tie them too.
• Be clear and consistent with boundaries. Be a great role model and forgive yourself.
• If things don’t go well, at the end of the day tell your child a story with a happy ending of the shoes being put on and going on a great adventure.  Thank the angels for the day and for the night.  Set the mood for the next day.
• Spend time with yourself considering what didn’t go well.  Maybe your child was hungry or overly tired.  Ponder how you could do it differently.  Plan and visualize your next day.